How To Find Love Again After A Rough Break Up

Ayodeji Aladejana
6 min readAug 15, 2020

Life is unpredictable and doesn’t always play out just like you wanted; especially our love life. Sometimes, unexpected circumstances like ending a relationship can be one of the most horrific experiences you would ever.

Many lovers who endure bad relationships and failed romances give up on the hope of ever finding true love again. They just conclude love doesn’t exist, But after the dust settles, the post-breakup period is a crucial transition time that presents opportunities that can help you find the right person the next time around. Through thoughtful reflections, and brutal honesty with yourself, try learning to deal with the losses and cherish the happy experiences. When you learn from your experiences, you’ll soon be able to move forward, more reliable and even more ready for a healthier relationship.

Remember You wouldn’t know happiness if you don’t understand the pain and you won’t understand true love without understanding how a broken heart could feel. What’s important now is to know how to love again and get back on your feet.

Here are tips to help you back on your feet after a rough breakup.

Realise And Accept That Your Previous Relationship Is An History

A breakup is like a doorway into another relationship. Still, you don’t have to fall in love immediately after a break up; instead, you need to accept the end of the relationship and acknowledge it as a history to be free of your pain.

You need to realise and accept that your previous relationship over If you want to love again someday. Many heartbroken lovers dwell over lost relationships like they’ve lost their own lives, it’s not easy forgetting so it could feel so real, as the lovely memories keep coming back.

It is your choice to bring a smile back on your face if you choose to. The best you can do is to heal your heart in a manner that’ll work for you, but don’t spend all the time in isolation. Convince yourself that the relationship is over. You could fall back into a broken relationship a million times, and you’ll never be happy if you still wish your ex could call back and you both can make it up again. Be strong and always do remind yourself that it is over. As painful as it may seem, it’ll give you the strength to move on.

Find Out Your Flaws And Where You’ve Gone Wrong

Experience is what you get when you fail at something, but it’s a valuable lesson nevertheless. The best thing about leaving a relationship is that you go with a world full of knowledge, with a better you. So learn from your failed relationship, keep those little lessons in mind and use it when getting back in the dating game. It will surely be a great advantage for you.

The breakup might have been a series of misunderstanding that made your partner quit the relationship, but whatever the reasons may be, even if you have no right to blame yourself, learn from the relationship.

You know yourself better. You understand what it is you want especially the qualities you don’t want in a future partner. Did you choose the wrong partner? Were you insecure, or did you always know the relationship wasn’t meant to be right from the start? Are you attracted to the same ‘type’? What ‘mistake’ have you made over again?” Learn to read the signs of a bad relationship and make sure you don’t make the same mistakes again by getting to move on the next time those same red flags pop up.

Remember that when you ignore or overlook red flags, it might cause another detrimental dating behaviour — a lack of asserting oneself, for fear the relationship might end and If these fears are not clarified, they are likely to be repeated in the next relationship.

Enjoy Your Single Status

You’ve probably been in a relationship for a long time, which explains why you’re heartbroken and upset. Give yourself some much needed time before you move into another relationship. Even though it isn’t easy, you must allow yourself to grieve the previously broken partnership. You need time to heal your wounds, instead of just covering them up with someone new.

Being single isn’t a time of unhappiness and loneliness. Instead, it’s a whole lot of fun. Learning how to live fully without a partner helps you attract the right type of person for your next relationship, and Now that you’re single, you can get back to all of the things you love. You can build yourself back up and take care of yourself. The more you give time to yourself, the more you’ll love others, and you’ll feel good. So try to spend more time and speak with friends of the opposite sex late into the night. Call your crushes and friends that have a crush on you. Make your single status comfortable and enjoyable.

Start Fresh And Get Into the Dating Game

When you were in a relationship, you couldn’t flirt with anyone without thinking twice but now you can. You are going to start fresh when dating a new person, so you don’t need to look desperately for “the right one” from the start. Therefore, have fun dating new people and getting touchy-feely with a few others. That special one will walk right into your life and make it a lot better when you’re having the best time. Clearing off old memories around you will create more space for a potential partner.

Try To Trust Again And Avoid Comparison

Most people feel hurt after a relationship ends, and they have unresolved issues like trust, especially when heading into the world of a new relationship. It’s quite common for to be wary of others and now have a hard time trusting people because they were cheated on or it could be that they’re afraid to open up due to the fear of being hurt.

Whatever it may be, it’s vital to learn how to trust again. You need to understand that each relationship is different. You can’t carry your past relationship issues onto a future relationship. Keep the ex-memories where it’s meant to be — in the past. But, if you don’t open up and trust a potential partner, the relationship will go nowhere. Without trust, you’re putting a dead end on a future relationship.

Also, try to avoid comparison. Of course, it’s hard when going from one relationship to another, but try not to compare the two partners. It’s normal to be observant of your new relationship by making comparisons — that is fine. However, you comparing your ex to your future boyfriend or girlfriend is uncalled for. When you’re dating, be sure to keep the remarks or commentary about your ex to a bearable minimum. No one likes to be compared, especially not on a date.

Many people say they won’t be in love again or will never find a love partner still after a rough breakup, and it is reasonable to feel this at times, it’s essential to know that your past relationship takes power over your entire future of love. What’s genuinely courageous is to be stable when you’re hurt because as long as you are human, you are vulnerable to love again as many as possible. So take that chance on true love when you feel like you’ve met the one you’ve been looking for, after all, taking chances is what love is all about.

Have you ever experienced a painful breakup? Were you able to learn anything from it? How did you find love again? Share your experience in the comments!

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Ayodeji Aladejana

I am a very ambitious, hardworking and sincere young man who is enthusiastic about taking up new challenges in life. I find it easier to write than to speak.